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Thoughts on Effective Time Managment for Everyone

December 26, 2010 By Leave a Comment
Carl Pettersson with family
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Modern living tends to require that both parents work in order to survive financially. Combine that with all of the extra circular activities that many kids are involved in and it feels like there’s simply not enough time in the day to get things done. Picking kids up from one activity to drop them off at another, or getting dinner done in the middle shuttling everyone around are just a couple of the challenges that families face.

First start by looking at everyone’s schedule. Where can time be saved? Write down everyone’s schedule for a week and consider who does what. When do parents come home from work, what time are the weekly activities, how much time is spent driving everyone around – all need to be written down on the sheet. The idea behind this is to figure out how much time is utilized in total.

Now that all of the information is laid out, start considering where corners can be cut. Can an activity that takes place multiple times a week be trimmed by a day? Will the child that’s involved in it miss anything by having one less day? Look at the driving patterns of each day. Can an errand be squeezed in between anything? Try to get something done in between runs. What this can do is to increase idle or family time on a day where there’s less to be done.

It’s good to be active, no doubts about that. It’s also more important to have downtime to recharge from all of the activity. Being able to take a break gives the family members an opportunity to hang out with one another and do something such as watch a movie as a whole. Rest and relaxation is good for the entire family and promotes harmony. Less stress means happier campers.

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What Type of Parent Are You?

December 24, 2010 By Leave a Comment
My sister and her baby.
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The title may be a strange sounding question, but it’s a very valid one. How parents affect and influence their children has no measurable impact, at least not one that psychologists have been able to find. Instead, parenting styles have been boiled down into four categories: Authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. Each style tends to mold children in a way that sets up their emotional well being.

Children of authoritative parents tend to have children that turn into well adjusted adults. These children generally have positive lives and outlooks on life and are well functioning members of society. Compare this to the children of authoritarian parents.

An authoritarian is someone who expects strict discipline at all times, no deviations from the norm. Any stepping over the line is responded to with swift and strong punishment. A child growing up in this atmosphere tends to be responsive and polite, but generally unhappy as an adult. Some might say that trying to force a child into a mold that they might not fit is a recipe for disaster. Acting out and getting into trouble sometimes result as well.

Permissive parenting is sometimes referred to as “being raised by hippies.” Children are allowed to run around, doing whatever they please. There is no standard for punishment, no structure, and no real participation by the parent in the raising of their child. It’s not unusual for children in this type of household to become “slackers.” They have no idea how to handle themselves as they mature, as no one showed them any guidance.

Uninvolved means just that. The parents have no interest in raising their children. In turn, this effects the child negatively as they age. Lacking in discipline, comfort, and emotional satisfaction, they have the potential to become non-contributing members of society, winding up in the disciplinary system.

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Being Firm Without Being Harsh

December 21, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Developing a child into a functioning member of society is no easy task. It takes years of patience, consistency, and love to prepare someone for the day they step out of the nest. There will be times where the actions of the child will make the parent want to tear out their hair, but that tends to come with the job. It’s being steady and consistent with them that will pay off in the long run.

It’s understandable that the parent in question may feel that they need to clamp down on every aspect of the child’s life. Box them in until they have no way out. This is a perfect recipe for disaster. Eventually an explosion is going to happen and it’s not going to be pretty. It may be a full-out meltdown in public or it can be more subtle such as destructive activities. And there is no telling at what age this may happen. It could be during pre-pubescent years, or it could be during the teens. What can be said is that there will be a blow up at some point.

Being an authoritarian parent has been shown to produce a human being that may be polite and respectful, but ultimately unhappy. They’re withdrawn and are reluctant to engage in life for fear of punishment, even though they may not even live at home anymore. The psychic effect of harsh discipline lasts a lifetime, easing only as time passes.

Parents need to steer clear of the desire to control their children. The time to clamp down is when the behavior warrants it, not before. A child needs to learn about the world around them and with that are going to come screw ups. Resisting the urge to make their lives even more miserable via punishment does no one any favors and will only serve to stunt the child’s development.

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When Extraciricular Activities Become Overwhelming

December 20, 2010 By Leave a Comment

After school activities are undoubtedly an important part of a child’s life, all the way through high school. Finding a balance between school and the after school activities can be difficult, but not impossible. Joining a sport or some kind of after school club is an excellent tool for kids to learn in an environment that’s not affected by school requirements. But it’s easy to go overboard with them and go too far.

Some parents feel a pressure to enroll their children into all kinds of extra activities, thinking it will somehow increase the chances at a good school. But is it really necessary? Schools will weigh grades more than what was done outside of classes as a means of entry. It’s entirely possible to have grades suffer because the child is doing way too much with not enough rest in between. It’s at this point where letting a kid be a kid becomes important.

Parents are driving their kids to be overachievers with the idea that they’re producing the next millionaire. The reality is that a child with the aptitude to succeed is going to regardless of what extra circular activities they do. Making a child go to class after class, activity after activity, robs them of the opportunity to be what they are. A kid.

Proper development of a child’s mind means they need to be given time to relax. Lessons are learned more thoroughly when there’s idle time. No pressure to do something gives the mind downtime to sit and explore the lessons without constantly being challenged. Otherwise the result is a child who can recite a lot of information, almost as if they learned by rote, but no real concept or understanding. Resist the urge to put them into every available outside activity and let them have some fun from time to time.

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Guiding your teen to be a Safe Driver

December 12, 2010 By Leave a Comment

In USA, every year thousands of teen’s lives are lost in fatal car accidents on roads. The major cause of teen deaths in different car accidents is said to be the same i.e.  reckless driving behaviour. As a result of such driving accidents not only precious teen lives are lost but other fatalities are also happened.

When it comes to talking about reckless driving behaviours in teens, parents often do not pay much attention towards developing teen driving safety conducts in their teens. They are just happy that their kid is independent and has learnt driving to carry out their day to day tasks. Parents must know that it is not the driving institutes that are accountable to make their kid a responsible driver but it the parents who should be teaching their kids to become a conscientious citizen by practicing safe driving on the roads.

No one can know a teen better than the parents. Even, if parents are sure enough that their teens are responsible enough and won’t be being careless while driving; they should still keep an eye on them especially when they are planning to go out with their friends. Because teens usually become hyper and exaggerated in the company of their friends and do things that they usually do not do while they are alone. Besides that, once a teen passes driving then by all means parents should manage to get time to sit with their teen whenever he/she is going out for a long route driving. Parents should also keep guiding their teens about safe driving techniques and must keep themselves focused to teach their kids the best teen driving safety tips.

It is only the parents that can guide their teens to become a safe driver and can help them understand their responsibility of being on the road while sitting behind the wheels.

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Choosing the Right Educational Path for your Child

December 12, 2010 By Leave a Comment
Hugo Oehmichen Im Kindergarten
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So much is made these days about getting the best education possible for kids. Some areas see strong competition for seats in kindergarten. Think about it. Does where a child goes to school for kindergarten have much affect on their ability to get into college? No. Nor should a child be pushed past their age-related abilities.

Just because a child can accomplish a certain task that’s beyond their age does not mean they’re going to be successful at everything they take on. Finding what they do well takes trial and error with both parent and child sometimes being unhappy along the way. There will be times when both parties will butt heads and have a hard time convincing each other that they know what’s best for themselves. Some kids will find they have an aptitude for mathematics, others may have an artistic bent. And a parent may find that they don’t care for where their child’s abilities lie and try to argue with it.

All parents want their children to be happy in life. Letting them be happy turns a child into an adult with strong coping mechanisms. Try not to force them into a pre-formed idea of what they should be. Let them experiment and keep from them disappointment when they don’t like something or don’t do well. It’s important to guide them on their path and encourage them to find what makes them tick. Discovering their strong point will make it easier to put them into a school that will develop it into a passion.

Passions tend to translate into abilities, and abilities turn into employment. By figuring out the passion early on in their life, they can find their way into schooling that will teach them how to exploit themselves. A child that understands what they’re best at turns into an adult with a great career, all thanks to a parent who listened.

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A businessman or businesswoman can also be a great parent

December 12, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Being a businessman or a businesswoman while being a parent is not an easy thing. Kids demand extra time from parents and so does a newly established business. It is quite important to keep both satisfied at the same time. If you want your kid to be happy, you will have to cut down on your business responsibilities. Similarly if you want to expand your business, you will have to ignore your child’s happiness.  Bing a parent, it is hard to neglect your kid.

Well it is not that hard to keep both things together. All it needs is proper management. Many property management companies offer such services. You will have to pay monthly fee to them and they will take care of your business. It is their responsibility to earn profit for you and maintain your business. They will divide up your weight and give you enough quality time to spend with your kids. You will have enough time to plan long trips with your family without worrying for your business. These companies like Sacramento property management take the responsibility of your business and properties. They will take care of the condition of your property and will give you monthly report of its condition.

In addition to the help of these property managers, you can also save time with proper time management. Try to make a list of important tasks which you must perform that day and keep the list with you. It is better to assign time to every task and try to finish the task within assigned time. This will save you some time at the end of the day. IF you have an important domestic task which you fear to forget while you are stuck in business, set a reminder and free yourself from any kind of embarrassment.

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The Never Ending Wars of Kids, Clothes, and Parents

December 12, 2010 By Leave a Comment
A baby wearing many items of winter clothing: ...
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“You’re not wearing that!” is a phrase heard in many homes as children start to experiment with self expression. It’s a time of life where experiments turn into mistakes that make people cringe. What’s a parent to do, especially when the child is old enough to have their own folding money and are buying their own clothes.

Taste and self respect can be taught early on. Instilling the thoughts that showing too much of something is inappropriate at certain ages will go a long way towards world peace in the home. A child that is guided into making good decisions when they’re young gives them framework for taking a moment and thinking later. They’ll go through the clothing racks and find clothes that look good on them, allow for some personal expression, while giving a parent peace of mind.

The other part of the fashion equation are the school peers. Usually the first response to a parental no is “But everyone’s wearing that!” This is a perfect opportunity to teach a lesson about being an individual. Don’t go for the standard line of “you don’t want to look like everyone else, do you?” Of course they do. That’s why they want the item in the first place. Instead, try introducing the thought of “be different.” Dressing well at school doesn’t mean they have to wear what everyone else is. Instead they can work at being a trend setter by doing something different and just as cool.

Ultimately, don’t attempt to stifle a child’s expression by limiting what they wear. Set boundaries for what is acceptable and what is not. Kids have plenty of imagination and will work within those parameters to find their own clothing voice. A little trust that the child will make the right clothing choices will go a long way towards peace in the household.

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Resist the Urge to Use a Quick Fix to a Situation

December 5, 2010 By Leave a Comment

One of the biggest challenges of parenting is getting some space or peace and quiet. Kids are about instant gratification and will use the tricks that they have available to them to get what they want. And it’s tempting for a parent to just give into the behavior by giving in.

Problem is, giving in to the disruptive behavior is only reinforcing it. The child now thinks that they got what they wanted once, they can get it again. For instance, the parent is having a conversation with an adult friend. The child is feeling left out and starts becoming a nuisance to get attention. Now the parent, who is most likely enjoying having an adult conversation, may turn to a bribe in order to quiet the child. The bribe can be any number of things, what it is doesn’t matter. What does matter is that the child has had their poor behavior reinforced and will be likely to repeat it again.

It’s a learned response, one that can become a problem down the road. It’s best to stop it before it happens by using discipline. And the discipline is a two way street. First, the parent should tell the child to sit down and find something quiet to do, such as color. This should be punctuated by a promise of “it won’t be too much longer.” Keep in mind that a child has a faster sense of time than an adult. To that extent, don’t drag out the conversation that much longer. Keep the promise and cut it off to avoid a melt down.

Quick fixes are just that. A quick fix. They do not solve anything, nor do they encourage good behavior. It’s a fact of life that both parties are going to be at odds with each other from time to time. Use a tactful fix instead of going for the easy one.

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Don’t Let the Stress of the Early Years Bring You Down

December 4, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Parenting stress is the same whether it’s the first born or the third. Children demand a lot of time and attention, leaving the parent feeling like there’s nothing left for themselves. The reality is, the years between one and ten go by very quickly and the parent will be wondering where they went. One moment it feels like they’re still in diapers and the next moment they’re starting to talk back to the parent.

Life becomes overwhelming with children. A parent’s day to day life has completely changed from everything they had been used to in the past. Instead of looking out for themselves and a spouse, there’s now someone new that’s number one. So many things have to be juggled in order to survive. Work, feeding schedules, doctor’s visits, and keeping up with the growth of the child. It’s no wonder some parents feel like they’re about to lose their mind.

Stay calm. Breathe deep. Call upon family and friends who have offered to help. They will be a lifeline to sanity. As much as the child is loved, there has to be me time for the adult. A parent’s identity becomes their offspring for some time after birth and needs to be brought back every once in a while. Above all, don’t feel guilty about having time away from the child. There’s still plenty of time to enjoy them.

Frustration is going to be another large part of the years to come. Children see the world as their sandbox and treat it accordingly. They have no boundaries until they’re taught and will most definitely try to sneak around them. It makes a parent wish they’d never given birth in the first place. But the beauty of it all is that many escapades wind up with unintended consequences. One that the parent can trot out at parties and get payback with embarrassment.

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