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Taking a Break

July 23, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Parenting is a stressful job; it’s highly rewarding, but since the job is basically 24/7, it can really wear on you. The important thing to remember when you’re a parent is you need some time to decompress and get your energy back. You need times where you have a chance to miss your kids so you can come back rejuvenated and ready to go again. Here are some tips on how to do that:

Take time after kids are in bed. Some parents don’t set strict bedtimes and this leads to dealing with kids all the way up to their bedtimes. This isn’t good; parents need time at the end of the day to relax. If you don’t have that, you won’t be able to sleep either. So enforce a strict 8 p.m. rule. This means that whether your children need to go to bed at 8 p.m. or not, they are in their rooms. If they aren’t sleepy, then they can read or play quietly.
Take breaks during the week. It’s important to have some time during the week as well. If your spouse works, then have him or her watch the kids at night so you can go out and have some alone time. This could be shopping or just getting a treat and relaxing.
Take breaks when you can get them. If you have friends who have kids the same age as yours, take opportunities for the kids to play together. If your parents live nearby, see if they’d like to have some time with them to become closer to their grandkids.

Filed Under: Family Trips, Parenting Tips Tagged With: Home, Parent, Support Groups

The Ups and Downs of Being a Parent

December 31, 2010 By Leave a Comment

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The journey of parenthood starts the moment the child is born. A whole new world has been opened up with so many possibilities envisioned for the new child. Life for the parent has now changed in ways that they never thought possible with so much happiness and frustrations to follow.

During the first couple years of development there’s not much to concern oneself with. The child is growing and presenting few problems other than the usual developmental ones. Ensuring that everything goes as planned is about it. To be sure, a young child that’s not talking or walking yet presents little challenges. But once they reach the age where both are being explored, watch out.

Kids test everything in their reach. It’s what they’re programmed to do. It’s how they learn how the world around them works. But for the adult who’s been there and done that, patience is key. Kids will say stuff and do things that will make the parent wish they had never reproduced. And that’s a normal reaction, one that any mother or father will express from time to time. The key is to not over react to anything, reward good behavior and punish the bad ones. This is a time of life for shaping the child to become a responsible human being, or so one would hope. There are some kids who are of a stubborn mindset and won’t want to listen.

Don’t ever lose patience with the process as it’s a form of giving up. Children need their parents for guidance and approval of things they do. Be engaged in their lives, no matter how hectic the day to day living may be. Over time, as their personality develops, the parent can better understand what their child needs emotionally and respond in kind. Above all always be fair.

Filed Under: Parenting Tips Tagged With: Child, Family, Health, Home, Parent

Be a Firm and Consistent Parent to Your Child

December 27, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Children don’t come with instructions, a fact said by many new parents. And it’s very true. A child is born and somehow maternal and paternal instincts are supposed to take over for the next 18 years. Sure, mother nature supplies the desire to protect the child as they’re born and grow, but she doesn’t hand out the logic needed to figure out the puzzle.

Too often a parent raises their child as their best friend instead of, well, their child. It results in a child that knows no boundaries with adults and acts inappropriately. No one is done any favors by treating their offspring as a friend. The child grows up into an adult who will have issues coping with others.

The time to start is when the child starts the process of learning concepts. At this stage, they have no idea that there are consequences for their actions. And this is when the parent needs to start introducing them. Be firm in stating no, stick to the guns, and do not give in to pleading and whining. It cannot be said enough that not doing so now will make it that much harder later. Trying to undo what wasn’t done before makes it a come from behind situation.

Being firm does not have to imply being mean. Even though a child will proclaim “you’re mean!”, this is nothing more than standing ground. There are things that kids should not do, get into, or play with as they can injure themselves. As a child has no concept of mortality, they gleefully get themselves into trouble. Protecting them from themselves is where being firm and unyielding come into play. Introduce the idea of something being non-negotiable early on. Instilling this into the child’s head will only serve to make life easier down the road. To be sure there will always be battles to be fought, but they don’t have to be hard.

Filed Under: Parenting Tips Tagged With: Child, Children Youth and Family, Family, Home, Parent

Thoughts on Effective Time Managment for Everyone

December 26, 2010 By Leave a Comment

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Modern living tends to require that both parents work in order to survive financially. Combine that with all of the extra circular activities that many kids are involved in and it feels like there’s simply not enough time in the day to get things done. Picking kids up from one activity to drop them off at another, or getting dinner done in the middle shuttling everyone around are just a couple of the challenges that families face.

First start by looking at everyone’s schedule. Where can time be saved? Write down everyone’s schedule for a week and consider who does what. When do parents come home from work, what time are the weekly activities, how much time is spent driving everyone around – all need to be written down on the sheet. The idea behind this is to figure out how much time is utilized in total.

Now that all of the information is laid out, start considering where corners can be cut. Can an activity that takes place multiple times a week be trimmed by a day? Will the child that’s involved in it miss anything by having one less day? Look at the driving patterns of each day. Can an errand be squeezed in between anything? Try to get something done in between runs. What this can do is to increase idle or family time on a day where there’s less to be done.

It’s good to be active, no doubts about that. It’s also more important to have downtime to recharge from all of the activity. Being able to take a break gives the family members an opportunity to hang out with one another and do something such as watch a movie as a whole. Rest and relaxation is good for the entire family and promotes harmony. Less stress means happier campers.

Filed Under: Activities Tagged With: Child, Family, Home, Parent

Being Firm Without Being Harsh

December 21, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Developing a child into a functioning member of society is no easy task. It takes years of patience, consistency, and love to prepare someone for the day they step out of the nest. There will be times where the actions of the child will make the parent want to tear out their hair, but that tends to come with the job. It’s being steady and consistent with them that will pay off in the long run.

It’s understandable that the parent in question may feel that they need to clamp down on every aspect of the child’s life. Box them in until they have no way out. This is a perfect recipe for disaster. Eventually an explosion is going to happen and it’s not going to be pretty. It may be a full-out meltdown in public or it can be more subtle such as destructive activities. And there is no telling at what age this may happen. It could be during pre-pubescent years, or it could be during the teens. What can be said is that there will be a blow up at some point.

Being an authoritarian parent has been shown to produce a human being that may be polite and respectful, but ultimately unhappy. They’re withdrawn and are reluctant to engage in life for fear of punishment, even though they may not even live at home anymore. The psychic effect of harsh discipline lasts a lifetime, easing only as time passes.

Parents need to steer clear of the desire to control their children. The time to clamp down is when the behavior warrants it, not before. A child needs to learn about the world around them and with that are going to come screw ups. Resisting the urge to make their lives even more miserable via punishment does no one any favors and will only serve to stunt the child’s development.

Filed Under: Parenting Tips Tagged With: Child, Home, Parent, Parenting styles

Eating Healthy Meals at Home Sets Up Habits for a Lifetime

December 6, 2010 By Leave a Comment

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What a child eats as they grow influences how they’ll eat as an adult. Their tastes for certain foods are developed early on and as long as there’s a supply, they’ll eat well. Parents have to face the fact that dinner should be a regular occurrence in the house in order to keep a kid from becoming a life long junk food eater.

The simplest way to keep meals consistent is to plan ahead. Meals don’t have to be gourmet, but they don’t have to be junk either. Junk happens as a result of poor planning. Look at a schedule and see who’s doing what on each day. If everyone is on different time scheduling, then some creativity has to come into play. For the ones who get in later in the evening, put something together and have it waiting to go for when they get home. That way there’s no lag time between them eating and getting started on homework.

Create in depth grocery lists for the store. Avoid letting food get boring by researching recipes on the Internet. Try being creative with old staples by doing something different in them. Maybe even research world cuisines that are made from readily found ingredients. Changing things up keeps the interest in cooking meals strong and encourages a wide ranging palate for the kids.

It is too easy to make excuses for not cooking. Sure, some people just don’t make good chefs. Even for those situations, trying is better than doing nothing. The benefits of having dinner at least 4 times a week is greatly outweighed by the alternatives. Fast food is quick and easy to obtain, but costs the same as a traditional meal. Why even consider fast food? There are few benefits to eating it. Instead, creating good eating habits early on will make for a healthier child as they age.

Filed Under: Parenting Tips Tagged With: Cooking, Eating, Food, Home, Meal

Don’t Let the Stress of the Early Years Bring You Down

December 4, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Parenting stress is the same whether it’s the first born or the third. Children demand a lot of time and attention, leaving the parent feeling like there’s nothing left for themselves. The reality is, the years between one and ten go by very quickly and the parent will be wondering where they went. One moment it feels like they’re still in diapers and the next moment they’re starting to talk back to the parent.

Life becomes overwhelming with children. A parent’s day to day life has completely changed from everything they had been used to in the past. Instead of looking out for themselves and a spouse, there’s now someone new that’s number one. So many things have to be juggled in order to survive. Work, feeding schedules, doctor’s visits, and keeping up with the growth of the child. It’s no wonder some parents feel like they’re about to lose their mind.

Stay calm. Breathe deep. Call upon family and friends who have offered to help. They will be a lifeline to sanity. As much as the child is loved, there has to be me time for the adult. A parent’s identity becomes their offspring for some time after birth and needs to be brought back every once in a while. Above all, don’t feel guilty about having time away from the child. There’s still plenty of time to enjoy them.

Frustration is going to be another large part of the years to come. Children see the world as their sandbox and treat it accordingly. They have no boundaries until they’re taught and will most definitely try to sneak around them. It makes a parent wish they’d never given birth in the first place. But the beauty of it all is that many escapades wind up with unintended consequences. One that the parent can trot out at parties and get payback with embarrassment.

Filed Under: Hobbies Tagged With: Child, Family, Home, Parent

Stop and Have Conversations With Your Children

December 2, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Having an open relationship with your child should be at the top of any parent’s list. There are so many benefits to doing so, the least of which is avoiding problems before they start. For sure there will be times when a child will not want to talk. Instances such as those are best left to parental judgment as sometimes it’s best to leave something private.

You want your child to be able to come talk to you when they’re feeling troubled. Kids look up to their parents as sources of advice. Fostering an atmosphere of openness will bring them to you for answers. Make it an overall point to talk with them at every opportunity about how they’re feeling that day when they’re young. This will plant the concept that “my parent understands me and I know I can get the answers I need from them” which is vital to a good relationship.

As kids get older, they start experiencing new facets of life. Friendships, relationships, where they fit in with the crowd and so on. For the parent, this is usually a been there, done that kind of thing. The ability to talk with your child about these issues gives the possibility to nip problems in the bud. The ultimate scenario that the parent want to see is their child coming to them with their problems with classmates. In return, the parent can get an understanding of the situation and provide guidance with how to deal with it.

Then there will be times when the child just doesn’t want to talk. This is where the parent needs to understand that some things are left to be secrets. An astute parent can usually figure out the source of the reticence and be comfortable with a lack of conversation. The key here is to be sensitive to what your child does or doesn’t want to talk about.

Filed Under: Parenting Tips Tagged With: Child, Home, Open relationship, Parent